1. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. V pities a fool.
2. Mr. V hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
3. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. V was Ray Charles.
4. Mr. V speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
5. Mr. V doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
6. Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. V.
7. Mr T. and Thrall decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Thrall launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. V blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
8. Mr.T once punched Thrall at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 80's.
9. Mr. V doesn't breathe; air just hides in his lungs for protection.
10. Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. V has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
11. 5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. V.
12. When creating the alphabet, Mr. V placed the letters M, R, and V in separate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
13. Mr. V is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
14. Mr. V once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Thrall fifteen minutes to
15. eat three.
16. Mr. V once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Thrall walking around naked in the woods.
17. Mr. V invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
18. 23. That's the number of fools Mr. V has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
19. When Mr. V received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
20. Mr. V is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
21. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr V didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
22. Mr. V always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.
23. Mr. V coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
24. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. V is going to walk.
25. Mr. V. does not break wind. He destroys it.
26. Mr. V does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.
27. Gravity doesn’t exist. Mr. V just pities everything to stay down. Birds and planes are exempt because they are shaped like Vs.
28. Mr. V was once involved in a head-on car crash, and was the only survivor. Mr. V was walking at the time.
29. Mr. V's Mohawk is so scared of Mr. V that it started running to his beard for help.
30. Mr. V's feather earrings are actually feathers from a foolish bird that he pitied.
31. Mr. V invented the Civil Rights movement
32. Every time an angel sings, Mr. V pities a fool
33. When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Thrall.
34. Thrall doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
35. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Thrall has allowed to live.
36. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Thrall.
37. Thrall does not sleep. He waits.
38. Thrall is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
39. Thrall is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
40. Thrall counted to infinity - twice.
41. There is no chin behind Thrall’ beard. There is only another fist.
42. When Thrall does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
43. Thrall is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
44. Thrall’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
45. There is no such thing as global warming. Thrall was cold, so he turned the sun up.
46. Thrall can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
47. Thrall doesn’t wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.
48. Thrall gave Mona Lisa that smile.
49. Thrall can slam a revolving door.
50. Thrall does not get frostbite. Thrall bites frost
51. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Thrall has 72... and they're all poisonous.
52. If you ask Thrall what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
53. When Thrall sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Thrall has not had to pay taxes, ever.
54. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Thrall' fist.
55. Thrall once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
56. What was going through the minds of all of Thrall' victims before they died? His boot.
57. Thrall is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
58. Thrall doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
59. Thrall doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
60. Someone once tried to tell Thrall that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
61. Thrall doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
62. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Thrall has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
63. While urinating, Thrall is easily capable of welding thorium.
64. Thrall has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
